Stolen Matts

So do you envision sneaking up onto your neighbor's front step and stealing their door mat?  Or gathering a bunch of people with the nick name Matt and taking them off on some boondoggle?  In this case, I refer to the way I groom my very Cranky Boots (tuxedo cat) who is nine and never tolerated well touch or affection, but has glimmers of openness and willingness to receive and give touch and affection, usually late at night when commotion is minimal and other animals and people aren't around.  Most often, at bedtime, upstairs in my quiet bathroom, she will join me where I keep an extra brush and scissor in the event I can steal a matt or two. 

She has always had trouble with grooming. I and our vet don't believe she has mobility or range of motion issues, she is overweight from the year of kitten food when Maizy and Zelda (plucked from a backyard shed at only a few weeks of age off Brady Street in Milwaukee by a dear friend's boys) arrived three years after her adoption, and has never been able to shed the extra weight.  Her Wisconsin vet who was so patient and gentle with her, and never was bitten or scratched by her, told me that some cats are just grungy, perhaps like some people....and don't really do very well in the hygiene department.  I grab the opportunities to steal a matt from Boots when I can, and imagine how  next time I can distract or drug her enough to use the clippers I bought to try to do what the vet did annually, usually leaving her looking like a reverse skunk.

Stealing opportunities is the theme here.  So many times, people will crack a door or window in their encounter with us, and we have an opportunity to be aware enough to notice the door is cracked, and then respond with further reflection or question.  So for example, a friend or family member might look or behave in an unusual or unexpected way, such as looking tearful, or may say, "past relationships have taught me ___", in that moment, consider yourself being given permission to walk through that door,  and respond.  Perhaps you could say "what did you learn, or if you know the variety of past relationships, you can say, you mean Bob or Carol?" As a social worker, I have been trained and practiced at this; as a parent, it is constant and ongoing response, or no response immediately, but dog earring that page and returning when tempers might be more receptive to exploring further what's going on.   

Suicide happens when people feel all alone, and are desperate to stop the pain they feel.  Errors, omissions, oversights, and missed open doors, have happened along the way from their loved ones to their medical care team, to even themselves not seeking help when they know they need it, and not being, more likely, able than necessarily willing to seek yet another opinion if the first or tenth has been another dud.  There is a reason why 12 Step Programs tell us to try at least six meetings, and different meetings if necessary, before giving up on the method.  Every group, every person to whom we may go to for help, is different, human, limited, and perhaps not the one to help us.  We need to find the strength to seek help, or seek an answer from someone we're concerned about.  It will pay off in a path toward healing, never guaranteed to be short or easy.  Be relentless in seeking and serving.  The reward is in knowing you've tried your best.